Wednesday, October 17, 2012

My name should be Mover.

In Virginia, there is nothing to do. It's a place where nothing happens, good or bad, happy or sad, exciting or boring. It's different than in Vancouver, very different. The people aren't the same, they are more reserved here, they care too much about themselves and aren't open to as much as people were in Vancouver. Not all of them are like that, but a lot of them are.
I find myself alone here a lot, as if I was sitting in the middle of a crowd who spoke a different language than me. Time passes, not quick, not slow, it just passes. I am finally a senior but I feel as if I should be in first grade again. I lost my ability to write, to excite, to do anything but be. I feel as if the only thing I do is homework, but I still get what they call here bad grades, C's and B's. Personally I am proud of myself for not failing, but I can't stay proud for long with people saying I need to do better.
I haven't written here for so long, mostly because I forgot I even had a blog. Writting and reading is like therapy for me, though right now I just need help getting out of here. Which brings me to my topic, changing my name ot Mover. I won't actually do it, but it's a thought I like to think. I love moving, mostly because I am in search of something. Of a place where I can call home, a place where I can be comfortable and feel not normal, but how I usually feel. Do I even know who I usually feel? No, but I tell myself that moving will help me figure it out. Maybe it will take me my entire life to find the one place that I can call home, but I know I won't stop searching until I found it. I mean, who wants to be burried or die or be burned or what ever in a place that they don't like? Not me.
I miss hugging the most. In vancouver, my friends and I hugged to say hello, goodbye, and anything and everything in between. Like, after saying a joke about one of my friends, I would then hug them. And they would do the same. Hugs were like breathing. Living like that, and then being switched to barely any hugs is a big change, and I like hugging more than anything.
I wish to be a great writter, so I can entertain myself, and who ever reads this, too. I'll try to stop neglecting this blog...I mean, practice makes perfect, am I right?

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