One year and counting.

It's been almost a year since my dog Wisdom died. She'd be 3. At 3 o'clock, it will be exactly one year. R.I.P. Wisdom, you were, and still are, greatly loved.

Sick...

Being sick is scary because, you don't ever know if you are getting better or worse. At least that's how it goes for me. See, I get very bad pain when I hurt, so I need to take more pills then the usual amount. I've almost always taken more...but now I'm thinking, maybe I made myself sick by taking them. I think my liver is failing, and my mom doesn't want to bring me to a hospital. There's no way I'm going alone, especially to a hospital...She took me to a chinese medicine man, he was pretty amazing, but the stuff he gave me is disgusting, and it feels like it doesn't work. I wish I could talk to someone, well, I do talk to people, but when I talk to them I expect them to change me somehow...and it never works. People say they want to help, but maybe nobody but myself can help me...and what if I don't want to help myself? Life is scary, I just wish I had someone there to tell me it will be worth it...

Happy

I'm happy when I'm sleeping. I dream the best dream, the kinds that only happens when your eyes are closed. I like someone who I will never be able to be with, and he knows it. I admit sometimes I think I am the saddest and most lonely person on earth, but now that I think about it, I am not always sad, so it isn't true. I am alone, fighting for my life against myself. I never used to get what the grass seems greener on the other side meant, but I found out the other day..I mean, I knew what it meant, but I just didn't understand it. I feel exactly like that, well, sometimes. I love my mom. Sometimes we fight and I can't stand her, but the moments when we actually enjoy being together are worth everything. My real full blooded sister is amazing. She's got the coolest, and best, style, and I love her. I couldn't ask for a better family, I really couldn't. I love my friends! My best friend's nickname is Dadi..and she is amazing:) haha, she doesn't always get me, and we fight a lot, but I couldn't ask for a better friend. My not so close friend anymore but still great friend, Troshian condoms :p hahaha, she is amazing. I'm glad I got to meet her, and be close to her, even if it was for only a year or so. I can talk to her about anything and everything without getting judged, and feeling a lot better at the end of the conversation. My new member of the friendship, Dalilama. She is great! I love hanging out with her, even though we haven't in a while:( We are always busy...but we see and hang out at school, I met her this year, and she is great. Ohh, the man I've got a crush on, he makes me stoked to see him:) He's awesome, at life, at peace, at being friends, at hugging AND highfiving! haha...He's an amazing rapper, and great beatboxer and just, amazing. He's got the most beautiful eyes in the world. I believe this one I am about to mention is the newest in my life, Dinorawr. I fell in love with him the day I met him, and not in a creeper freakish way...In a friendly way. He is great, and even though I tell him that a lot, I don't think he gets it. I'm sure he will get very far in life, he's super smart. He's great at drumming, even though I only heard him play once. He's everything girls look for in guys, he's a great friend too:) I have to say, Vancouver has made me happy. I live in Richmond, it's quite a depressing place for me, but once I started going to Vancouver, especially granville street, I saw the light in my darkness, but I don't know if it's bright enough for me to follow. The hardest thing for me to do is leave it, I don't want to. I met so many great people here, it's my home, and always will be. I love you guys and gals, don't ever forget that, or me<3

Friends?

I made three friends and I think they will last forever. Ever since I was born, 16 years and a couple months, I have never found a friend that would last forever, except for my family. I used to think that keeping a friend forever even if you move is impossible, but now, I think differently. They don't care how I act, they like my bad qualities, and love my good ones. I am pretty sure 2 of my new friends will become famous one day...One already almost is! He is a pro at free styling, and beat boxing, and just at making people smile:) I see him practically every friday now, and what keeps me going through the week is my fridays, but he doesn't even know it. He doesn't know how much he can effect someone, or maybe he does, but just doesn't show it. I met him a few weeks ago, and he already knows me and calls me his superfan, but maybe he gets that it's not just because I like his music, but because he can turn sorrow into happiness, and tears into joy. The other one that could get famous is a guy too. I met him about the same time as the first one, but never actually talked to him. All I did was ask if he could take my picture with the almost famous one :p Just this friday did I start hanging with him, and he already shows that he isn't like the others. He's gone through lots of stuff, so maybe that's why he isn't like the rest. I just hope nothing happens to him, and I hope he's strong enough to keep on going. Lastly, I've known her for a couple months now, and she is really amazing. Every time I hang out with her, something great happens. Well, it's either great, or just exciting. One time, some driver ran into my moms car, and made a dent. there was the paint of the ladies car on my moms, but the driver kept on saying she didn't do it. I wanted to smack that lady. My mom was in the car, the car was parked, and me i was waiting for her to give me money. My mom couldn't even get out of the car because it was stuck. But yes, that was exciting, but not great. I felt bad, but we had to leave my mom and go to school. So yes, I think that these people will always be in my hearts, even though I just met them. I love the effect of meeting someone who is actually real, and nice. Don't you?

Are you bored?

Here are a couple sites that could ease your boredness :

www.myspace.com
www.facebook.com
www.myyearbook.com
www.tumblr.com
www.bored.com
http://www.dumb.com/games/pinball/index.php
http://www.dumb.com/dodgeboxes/
http://www.bigsites.com/
www.pointlesssites.com/
http://thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com/fun.html