Sick...

Being sick is scary because, you don't ever know if you are getting better or worse. At least that's how it goes for me. See, I get very bad pain when I hurt, so I need to take more pills then the usual amount. I've almost always taken more...but now I'm thinking, maybe I made myself sick by taking them. I think my liver is failing, and my mom doesn't want to bring me to a hospital. There's no way I'm going alone, especially to a hospital...She took me to a chinese medicine man, he was pretty amazing, but the stuff he gave me is disgusting, and it feels like it doesn't work. I wish I could talk to someone, well, I do talk to people, but when I talk to them I expect them to change me somehow...and it never works. People say they want to help, but maybe nobody but myself can help me...and what if I don't want to help myself? Life is scary, I just wish I had someone there to tell me it will be worth it...