Truth 110%. What can be more real than that?
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Sick...
Being sick is scary because, you don't ever know if you are getting better or worse. At least that's how it goes for me. See, I get very bad pain when I hurt, so I need to take more pills then the usual amount. I've almost always taken more...but now I'm thinking, maybe I made myself sick by taking them. I think my liver is failing, and my mom doesn't want to bring me to a hospital. There's no way I'm going alone, especially to a hospital...She took me to a chinese medicine man, he was pretty amazing, but the stuff he gave me is disgusting, and it feels like it doesn't work. I wish I could talk to someone, well, I do talk to people, but when I talk to them I expect them to change me somehow...and it never works. People say they want to help, but maybe nobody but myself can help me...and what if I don't want to help myself? Life is scary, I just wish I had someone there to tell me it will be worth it...
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Happy
I'm happy when I'm sleeping. I dream the best dream, the kinds that only happens when your eyes are closed. I like someone who I will never be able to be with, and he knows it. I admit sometimes I think I am the saddest and most lonely person on earth, but now that I think about it, I am not always sad, so it isn't true. I am alone, fighting for my life against myself. I never used to get what the grass seems greener on the other side meant, but I found out the other day..I mean, I knew what it meant, but I just didn't understand it. I feel exactly like that, well, sometimes. I love my mom. Sometimes we fight and I can't stand her, but the moments when we actually enjoy being together are worth everything. My real full blooded sister is amazing. She's got the coolest, and best, style, and I love her. I couldn't ask for a better family, I really couldn't. I love my friends! My best friend's nickname is Dadi..and she is amazing:) haha, she doesn't always get me, and we fight a lot, but I couldn't ask for a better friend. My not so close friend anymore but still great friend, Troshian condoms :p hahaha, she is amazing. I'm glad I got to meet her, and be close to her, even if it was for only a year or so. I can talk to her about anything and everything without getting judged, and feeling a lot better at the end of the conversation. My new member of the friendship, Dalilama. She is great! I love hanging out with her, even though we haven't in a while:( We are always busy...but we see and hang out at school, I met her this year, and she is great. Ohh, the man I've got a crush on, he makes me stoked to see him:) He's awesome, at life, at peace, at being friends, at hugging AND highfiving! haha...He's an amazing rapper, and great beatboxer and just, amazing. He's got the most beautiful eyes in the world. I believe this one I am about to mention is the newest in my life, Dinorawr. I fell in love with him the day I met him, and not in a creeper freakish way...In a friendly way. He is great, and even though I tell him that a lot, I don't think he gets it. I'm sure he will get very far in life, he's super smart. He's great at drumming, even though I only heard him play once. He's everything girls look for in guys, he's a great friend too:) I have to say, Vancouver has made me happy. I live in Richmond, it's quite a depressing place for me, but once I started going to Vancouver, especially granville street, I saw the light in my darkness, but I don't know if it's bright enough for me to follow. The hardest thing for me to do is leave it, I don't want to. I met so many great people here, it's my home, and always will be. I love you guys and gals, don't ever forget that, or me<3
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